How's it going, Reader?

Last night, I got a Facebook message from a male affiliate partner.

He read my email about applying to the 6-week Anthropic Residency and told me I probably wouldn’t get in.

This was his message:

"AI research is male-dominated! The few women who get accepted are tokens to avoid discrimination disputes, and you shouldn’t have bothered applying and wasted your time."

I’ll be honest with you, it made me angry. 😠

That kind of message isn’t new to me. I’ve heard versions of it my whole career.

For 20 years I worked in IT, and I was usually the only woman on the team.

Before my code could be pushed to the GitHub repository, it got a harder second look than the men around me did.

I was never invited out to lunch or any get-togethers either.

One day in the breakroom, a new hire mentioned he was being paid $150 an hour. I had been at that company for years, and I was making $65. 😲

I wish I could tell you that ended when I started my own business, but it didn’t.

As a technical founder building SAGE and a woman teaching AI, I’m still earning my place over and over.

I’ve been passed over for speaking slots at AI events more times than I can count.

Then I’ve watched the lineups get announced with just a handful of women, as if someone was filling a quota. 😒

So here’s what I did with that anger.

I didn’t argue and curse him out like I wanted to.

Instead, I blocked him and went back to what I was working on.

If you’re the only woman on your team, or the one who always seems to have to prove herself twice, I want you to hear this from someone who’s been there: the doubt other people hand you is not a verdict on your ability.

Usually it just reflects what they’re used to seeing.

You still get to decide whether you apply, whether you build, and whether you raise your hand for the stage.

I’m glad I applied, whatever the answer turns out to be, because I’d rather be told no than tell myself no. 💕

And for the record, it wasn’t a waste of time.

That experiment I did as part of my application to Anthropic taught me more about how AI behaves than any course I’ve taken.

I’m sharing what I found at my free workshop on Monday, November 30th at 2 pm CST. You don’t need to be technical, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to be there.

​Save my free seat for November 30​

I’d love to hear your story too. If you’ve ever been the only woman in the room, hit reply and tell me what happened. I read every one.

Becky

P.S. If someone told you this year that you shouldn’t bother, forward this to a woman in your life who needs to hear the opposite.